Can I Offer You Some Feedback? - Episode #23
Show Notes:
In this episode Sara talks with Gausia, a financial analysis expert and they discuss how context plays a big role in how receptive someone is when feedback is being exchanged. Without prior knowledge of having this type of conversation, it could leave someone with an instant gut reaction for negativity. If actionable feedback is built ongoing, is specific and has some context, it can become a tool for motivation. Provide feedback regularly so it does not feel like one big looming conversation that’s going to take place. Subscribe to this podcast today and so you never miss an episode!
Episode #13: Using Context to Ground Feedback
Sara: Welcome to, Can I Offer You Some Feedback? My name is Sara, and this is the podcast for those who have a complicated relationship with feedback and are looking to hear from real people across levels and industries with their ideas, perspectives, and best practices on feedback. Before we dive in, I'd like to introduce our guest for the podcast today, Gausia. She's an expert in financial analysis and advocate for financial literacy. Welcome to the show.
Gausia: Hey!
Sara: So let's kick things off with the main question of the podcast. When I say the phrase, "can I offer you some feedback?" What's your gut reaction when you hear that?
Gausia: Sure. So it depends. In a professional setting, if it's coming during a regular schedule or check-in, I'm probably more receptive and at ease and open to hear the feedback. If it's coming during a performance review, I'm probably expecting it. But if I haven't had any FaceTime with that individual or any conversations leading up to the conversation, then my gut reaction is probably it's going to be negative feedback and something that I might not want to hear, or it's going to be negative in some way.
Sara: Yeah. So it sounds like the context is really important for you. Like, have I prepared for this conversation? Do I know it's going to happen? And am I ready for that feedback and someway I've done something to ready myself? Versus me popping in your office on a Tuesday being like, "Hello. Can I offer some feedback?" Which has a different kind of ring to it and another kind of concern.
Gausia: Yes, absolutely.
Sara: I'm curious for you, when you're thinking about feedback, do you prefer to give feedback or receive feedback?
Gausia: I think I'd rather be the receiver of feedback, and it's probably because I need to improve on how I give feedback. I think I'm good at giving positive feedback, but when it comes to negative feedback, I get too caught up in the details and the nitty gritty and kind of don't take a step back. And I kind of get too worried about how the person will be receiving that feedback or if I will be helpful in any way. So I think that has to do a little bit more with me. But something that I've done to regulate the timing about receiving feedback, kind of like the first thing that I talked about is I'm usually pretty proactive in asking about feedback itself. So that's why I'd rather receive it because it's kind of on my terms when I can make it on my terms.
Sara: Yeah. No, I can definitely appreciate that. It's great to ask in the moment for that feedback, but as you're saying, you are in control of the stream of feedback. You're asking for it, you're preparing for it, you know it's going to come. When you're thinking about that feedback, how would you define or describe meaningful feedback?
Gausia: I think if it's meaningful feedback, it's feedback that I can do something with. And again, is it provided in real-time or is it months and months later? Kind of an example of that is, sometimes there might be aspects of feedback that I receive that I don't have control over. I know that one time, one piece of feedback that I was given was that I should speak up more like the team really wants to hear my ideas. But I wasn't in the meetings where they wanted to hear my ideas. I was only really able to speak with my manager. So if I wasn't in that meeting in the first place, it wasn't really going anywhere. So I needed to be included in those meetings, to begin with. So something I can do something with.
Sara: Yeah. I really appreciate you bringing that up. And I know we talked earlier about control, but control of outcome, right? So like, is it something that I had a hand in? Did I have an impact in? Did I have some role in? And sometimes the feedback that we receive is just so broad, or like it's, this thing didn't go the way I wanted. And you're like, yes, but what did I do as a part of that and what was my contribution and what could I have changed or adjusted in that way? For some folks, it's helpful to hear examples. I'm wondering if you can think of or relay an experience to us where either you've seen meaningful feedback delivered or you've been the recipient of meaningful feedback.
Gausia: So I have two examples. One is professionally and one is non-professionally, but they're kind of the same example. So the first is where I had to pitch stocks for my company, my last job that I was at. And what was helpful was every time I would pitch a stock, right after I would have a conversation and understand what went wrong and what went right. So once I was able to kind of get that feedback loop going, I was able to improve and then understand what I needed to still improve in. And so at the end of the day, I think I was able to actually take that feedback and apply it each time.
A non-professional example would be, I started taking some classes to learn how to read Arabic a little bit better. And because I was meeting with my teacher two to three times a week, she was giving me feedback on things that I actually was really terrible at, at the beginning and finally improved on, and I was doing it correctly now, and then other pieces that I would have to still work. So because I was able to see that consistently, it was a lot easier to understand rather than kind of being in a vacuum and saying, "Oh, I have to improve on everything". So that consistent loop of feedback is what helped.
Sara: Yeah. And I can definitely imagine that, especially when learning a language, there's so much nuance there that like it's probably an interesting balance as a language educator, among with many other types of educators to decide what is the thing that I'm going to pick and to choose that ongoing feedback. Because there are probably 20 things you did wrong, but like, let's pick one or let's pick two. And they're making the choice in that moment to ongoing build on that feedback. Have it be specific, have it have some context, and still be motivational and inspirational for you to continue to do it so that you don't just decide, I'm no longer trying to learn that as a skill and like to take it a different direction. If I could grant you a wish and it would be around how people either could be just better around feedback regarding feedback, giving, receiving, whatever it might be, what would you wish that people could do differently?
Gausia: Yeah, so again, I really wish that feedback was more regularly provided so it doesn't feel like this one big looming conversation that's going to take place. And also in giving both positive and negative feedback, it doesn't always have to be negative. There is positive feedback and that does actually encourage people to continue doing what they're doing well and keep building on that as well.
Sara: Yeah. Excellent. I think that building on has come through kind of in several of your examples so far, and making sure that it's supported, right? That person has that ongoing relationship, that ongoing conversation of feedback. I really like that. So for the last question, in our time together today, Gausia, can I offer you some feedback?
Gausia: Yes, absolutely.
Sara: It's always nicer when it comes with a smile. One of the things I've really appreciated, Gausia in the way that we've worked together in a volunteer capacity, we've studied together, we've been friends for many years, I've always appreciated that you have such an openness and optimism about the potential of something being good, something being a silver lining, finding that opportunity where this could be a good thing. Granted, things could all be on fire around you. They could all be going terribly. But somehow, whenever I talk to you, I see possibility, I hear in your idea that, yes, this is a challenge, but it's also an opportunity. What can I gain from this? How can I benefit from this? And I love that every time I come out of a meeting with you, have lunch with you, a conversation with you, I too, it's an infectious positivity. It's an infectious optimism around possibility. I know you do that with me. I hope you do that with others. But I love that in you and I think that that's a fantastic kind of skill to bring forward. And I'm sure it shows up in your day in different kinds of ways.
Gausia: Thank you. I'm flattered and that's very sweet.
Sara: Well, it's very true. Well, Gausia, thank you so much for taking the time to speak with me. And thanks to you for joining us in another episode of Can I Offer You Some Feedback? You can reach me at podcast@mod.network. We would love to hear from you on your thoughts on feedback, or any other perspectives you'd like to hear from next. As always, give us a quick rating on your platform of choice and share this podcast with a friend. And I'm hoping that tomorrow you take a chance and offer some feedback when it's needed most.